Day Sixty-five

Yesterday I felt my age and more all day. That's not accurate because I really don't know how my age is supposed to feel. Rather, I should say, I felt terrible yesterday: exhausted, stomach ache, leg ache, etc., spending most of my time sleeping.

This morning I feel much better, except that I awakened having difficulty breathing.  Little Girl slept on my legs last night and at some point bit completely through my nose (oxygen) hose. I came close to panic when I realized what was wrong; thankfully, I didn't panic (which would have made breathing even more difficult) and replaced the hose.  

I have been more ill this afternoon than I was yesterday. I hope I'm OK tomorrow for I have much to do!

Day Sixty-four

Not a great day for me. Kitty-kids doing OK.

Day Sixty-three

I have no energy today: until about 2:00 PM, I have been sleeping. I thought that perhaps all of these cat scratches were combining to pull me down, but I think any of them is infected and I'm running less than a degree of fever.

After considering that I'm feeling more than just normal tired, I called my MD2U doc. It seems that the several symptoms I have had over the past week or so are all side effects of the medication I began just over two weeks ago! Now I need to evaluate the positives and negatives of this medication.

Little Girl has discovered the storage space beneath the printer and has been pushing everything the can out of it onto the floor.

Later in the day Sugar evicted Little Girl from the space and now quietly occupies it, even though Little Girl has attempted to evict Sugar. [silly cats]

Day Sixty-two

Alex

Sugar

Alex is still living in the bathroom except for his meals. Sugar has been spending her time sitting/napping on the bench that holds my CPAP beside my bed. I believe that both of them are afraid of the (big) kitten, Little Girl:

Little Girl

After I sat watching Little Girl systematically push stuff off my desk, I picked her up and placed her on the floor. When she jumped right back up, I squirted her twice with water. She is now hiding in the laundry basket. 

Now all 3 of my kitty kids are in hiding, Little Girl from the water, Alex and Sugar from Little Girl.

I've been sleeping almost all day! I've not felt sleepy, but I have lacked energy. I hope everything in my body has been recharged by the sleep. Without a housekeeper, I still have much to do today!

The more that I do all the housework here, the more surprised I become. For some reason (climbing kitten maybe?) the box containing the Christmas nativity scene fell down from the closet shelf where it had been stored. Wise men, shepherds, angel, manger, and the whole Holy Family ended up on the floor. 

Using my reaching thingie, I picked up, inspected, wiped off, and returned each piece  to the box, thinking as I did, “I’ll be getting this out in a couple of months.”

But that’s not what surprised me. Also on the floor (and presumably in the box since they hadn’t been on the floor until after the box toppled) were:

• Cat nail clippers for which I’ve been searching for months
• Cat hair brush (one of 3 that I own) that I have missed for months
• Clothing brush I use for removing cat hair from me
• Small flash light with extra batteries
• One fork
• One pencil
• One magnifying glass

Since it was a caregiver who packed and put the box on the shelf, I wonder what was in her mind as she added the extra, none Christmas-related items.

Day Sixty-one: Sugar Is Home!

Sugar Home and Enjoying Favorite Treats

Sugar is home from her surgery! She's wide awake and does not seem to be in any pain. 

At the clinic they informed me that her pregnancy was "very early." Still, if I had known she was pregnant, I would not have allowed the surgery. Sugar lost her first littler when they were killed in the house fire along with Anne's kitten, Cain. I am sure she missed the opportunity to raise her babies to young adulthood.

The folks at the clinic also told me that Sugar has lots of fleas. She evidently got more than pregnant  during her last escape outside.

The clinic vet said that my (affordable) Hartz Flea & Tick product doesn't work well: "You msy as well use plain water."

The clinic recommended the product I used to use on Alex back when I had money; unfortunately, it costs about $15.00 a month per application.  I can't afford $45.00 a month, since I can't afford my own medicine. I have to find a better solution.

Alex hasn't seen Sugar yet. He's again hiding in the bathroom. Little Girl greeted Sugar by trying to push her off the printer and away from the treats she was eating.  I picked up Little Girl and she was not happy that I did:

These claw scratches bled a lot and still hurt

Later the girls made up and were licking each others coats. Now they are napping, as is Alex.

Sugar and I were delayed on our return because, even though yesterday I purchased gas with my last $8.00, it wasn't enough for the two fifty mile round trips to the clinic. We ran out of gas about two miles from home. Thankfully, a Good Samaritan farmer came by and put a gallon of gasoline into my car. 

While sitting in the gasless car, I took the opportunity to call the homemaker and cancel her afternoon visit. I told her that I have survived for two and a half weeks without help and I would prefer to do things on my own. I did not tell her that I am becoming a Dharma Bum hermit, even though, as I read Jack Kerouac, I think I am!

It was about 4:30 this morning that I awakened and I was up before 5:00. Anxious about Sugar and the housekeeper coming today, probably. With both of those out of the way and having eaten an excellent Meals-on-Wheels lunch, I think I am ready for an afternoon nap. 

So.... I am now going to join the kitty kids who have been napping all morning.

I've been trying to get Alex out of his cave in the bathroom most of the evening. If I sit with him in there, he climbs into my arms and purrs. He also climbs on my back as a shortcut to the sink. I brought him into the living and sat in our chair. He jumped down and returned to the bathroom. I took him into the bedroom and sat with him on the bed; again he jumped off and went back to the bathroom. I really don't know what is up with my buddy. He's eating and drinking OK; his nose is cold; and I think he has gained a pound or two. I wish I knew what was going on with him.

Day Sixty

Sugar goes to the Humane Society today to be spayed. The dear little kitty slept with me last night and is still in the bedroom because she can't eat before the surgery. I'm delaying as long as possible putting her into the cat carrier. I know that this surgery is for the best, but it tears at my heart to put my little friend through it.

We must leave here in about an hour. I pray that all goes well.

Sugar is now at the clinic to be spayed. I am tp pick her up at 8:00 AM tomorrow. I wish I hadn't had to take her there alone: she cried during most of the drive.

I am very glad that this didn't arrive until after I returned home:

SPECIAL WEATHER STATEMENT NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE LOUISVILLE KY 834 AM EDT TUE SEP 25 2012 STRONG THUNDERSTORMS WITH CONTINUOUS CLOUD TO GROUND LIGHTNING...TORRENTIAL RAIN...HALF INCH HAIL...AND 40-50 MPH WINDS MOVING THROUGH NORTH-CENTRAL KENTUCKY THIS MORNING...

Now I am going to take a morning nap!

Nap's been over for a couple of hours. So have the storms. In one more hour I can call the clinic to check on Sugar. 

Today is National Voter Registration Day. I've got a new post almost completed for Nick's Bytes.

I have received a call from Virginia, my probable new VA supplied housekeeper. She will be here between 1:00 and 1:30 tomorrow afternoon. I feel anxious about meeting her. The small child inside me fears being "put-down."

My new antidepressant/anti-anxiety medication isn't working. Either that or I'm stressed to a greater degree than I think I am. 

I just talked with the clinic. Sugar came through the surgery fine. I am, however, very sad: they told me that she was pregnant. I really didn't want to abort her kittens. I feel like crying. I am crying. And I can't stop crying. 

It's more than Sugar: tomorrow the woman is coming to inspect my apartment to see if she'll be the housekeeper. My anxiety is high, just as it has been with every caregiver VA has provided. I don't know if I want to go through with this.

I have decided to tell the potential housekeeper not to come tomorrow. The idea of being inspected and going through the anxiety and depression some of the past caregivers have caused me is more than I can tolerate. I'd rather try to survive on my own.

Day Fifty-nine

Lots of stress today plus I am ill. I am so ill that I have postponed my meeting with the potential housekeeper until Wednesday.

I have been ill most of today. I still feel weak, but must prepare for tomorrow. Sugar needs to be at the Humane Society at 8:00 AM tomorrow for her spay appointment. I plan to have the cat carrier and Sugar in the bedroom with the door closed tonight. In the morning we'll get going by 7:15 AM. 

I pray that all goes well.

Day Fifty-eight

I awakened feeling sad this morning. Nothing is wrong; I simply feel sad. It isn't a bad feeling. It's simply a feeling that will pass. 

As I meditated I found that my mind kept drifting toward the past... people, animals, places that were once in my life but aren't now. It's sort of like saying "good-bye," although I understand that doing that requires much more than one morning of sadness.

There is something that Joseph Campbell wrote or said about saying good-bye as one ages that is on the edge of my conscious mind. I must look it up soon.

My melancholia  is past. Meditation, reflection, and my normal morning spiritual discipline brought me new feelings. I must, however, locate the words of Joseph Campbell that are just beyond my conscious recollection.

When I opened the front door a few minutes ago to bring in the Sunday newspaper, Alex bolted through it. That's really good: the little fellow hasn't asked to go outside in over a week. He just stayed on his table, in the bathtub, or on the washing machine, sleeping. I was beginning to worry about my buddy.

 He's OK outside. Alex does 3 things when he is out: 

(1) grazes grass; 

(2) investigates the patio of my neighbor who has a dog; 

(3) and reclines in the sunlight on our patio. 

When Alex is ready to come in, he'll scratch at the patio door and, if I don't hear him, Sugar will let me know that Alex wants in.

I've become too tired to continue the chores that need to be done here. When one weights almost a fifth of a ton—I used to weigh over a fifth of a ton—one can become easily fatigued. That's what has happened now; and I still have loads of housework to do before the prospective housekeeper meets with me tomorrow afternoon. [SIGH]

Day Fifty-seven

Thus far it appears that today will be a quiet, lazy day. I awakened late: 9:00 AM. After feeding the kitty kids, who have all returned to sleeping, I checked my vital signs: all were relatively excellent. Then a quick harvesting of the FarmVille game farms.  

Plans for this afternoon including taking the garbage to the dumpster and watching collegiate football on TV.

A quiet day!

This afternoon I fell asleep watching a football game I had on TV only because I couldn't get the University of Kentucky game on Direct-TV. When I awakened I discovered that all three kitty kids had napped with me.

Sugar

Little Girl

Alex

I'm watching the LSU/Auburn football game. It's a good game! However, the antics of Little Girl and Sugar are so entertaining that they pull my attention away from the game. They are climbing of each other across my desk, file cabins  and printer, their paws flying as they compete with each other to push stuff on the floor. I now have a lot of picking up to do, but the laughs these two kitty kids gave me are worth the work.

At sometime this evening I need to create a Silly Sunday post for tomorrow. I think I'll await the end of the LSU/Auburn football game, which is now in half-time.

It's done!