Day Ninety-nine

Today has not begun well! I'll not go into details now. Thus far by 9:30 AM the following has happened:

• I awakened at 6:AM to find Little Girl sitting outside my bedroom door and that the last of my oxygen tubing had been ripped open to the point that duct tape can't repair it. I am using bottled oxygen and the portable oxygen converter with a short hose until the oxygen folks arrive later today with replacements.
• My back hurts to the point that I can't stand or walk without great pain...
• so I'm sitting at my desk because the portable oxygen isn't compatible with my lift chair and it hurts too much to stand and make it compatible.
• For some unknown reason, last night Alex decided to defecate on the rung below his window perch.
• I'm into another fit of sneezing that the saline solution and blowing my nose doesn't stop.
• My agenda includes a couple of must-do items that are urgent, but I must be able to walk/drive to do them.

The good news is:

• the oxygen tubing is promised to be here by noon.
• my MD2U doc is to visit me at 1:00 PM.

Meanwhile, I have been able to feed the kitty kids and myself (a banana and my morning meds). The kids now eat regularly out of each other's food dishes, which make my feeding them much easier. Alex, however, still wants me to go to his dish and point out his food before he'll jump on his table and eat it. (Silly cat!)

After their breakfast, Sugar jumped on top of the printer, which sits beside my desk, and stared at me until I noticed her and placed on kitty treats on the printer top. Before she could eat them, Little Girl showed up and proceeded to eat Sugar's treats:

Sugar requested more treats. I gave her some more after Little Girl went exploring for some more trouble to get into.

Good news! I have ten replacement nose hoses, which is twice what I am allotted each month. Now if I can just keep the cats from chewing and clawing them.

A substitute MD2U PA visited me this afternoon. My regular PA had a baby two weeks ago and will be away another four or so weeks. I went over all of the medical stuff that has been bothering me the past several weeks and he said he'll call in two prescriptions, one antibiotic to deal with the infection in my lower left leg and one muscle relaxant for the pulled muscles in my lower back. 

He also confirmed that the nail on the big toe of my right leg in ingrown and needs attention. He can have someone visit me at my apartment, but it would cost me $35.00, which I don't have. I do have an appointment at the VA hospital in late December to have my toenails trimmed, so I telephoned and requested an earlier appointment. I've yet to receive a response from the VA.

As tomorrow's election draws near, I feel frightened and very anxious. If the GOP gains control of the federal government, I know I shall no longer have VA medical treatment and, in time, no Social Security income. The radical right-wing of the GOP has vowed to do away with both Social Security and the Veterans' Administration plus anything else that aids the poor, the elderly, and the infirm.

I am so sick of the deceit, deception, disinformation, and defamation of the GOP dirty tricks factory that thrown me into a deep depression, so deep that I can't watch TV and may even skip tonight's Monday Night Football. 

Day Forty-two: Altruistic Me

Yep,that altruistic frog is me:I'll help someone even if what it takes to do so will drown me. In the last ten of so years I have given to others tens of thousands of dollars to the point that in the past year I have not had enough money to purchase food for any month, always running out by the second week.

Of course, money isn't the only thing my altruistic lifestyle/philosophy/theology has cost me. Without going into "ancient history" (the past 10 years), last night is an excellent example. 

My neighbor entered my apartment last night just as I was relaxing to watch Chelsea Lately -- i.e., 11:00 p.m. She whined, begging me to again drive her to the VA ER (Veterans Administration Emergency Room) as she has convinced me to do in the wee hours of the morning more than once in the past.  I explained (over and over) that I was ill: weak and painful leg; difficulty walking; labored breathing. 

She heard none of it, so finally my altruistic self kicked in and I drove her to the  VA ER, where is waited (outside on a bench because I didn't want to go inside with her) until after 3:00 a.m. when I informed her I had to go home because the battery of my portable oxygen compressor was running low. Even then she wanted me to stay, suggesting I come into the hospital and have them supply me with bottled oxygen. I didn't and reached my apartment at about 3:45 a.m.

Today I have paid a heavy price for last night and this morning's altruism. I have been exhausted; I have been sick at my stomach; and I have been basically functioning at half-speed, half-mind. There is a side story to this regarding the outcome of my neighbor's VA ER visit that I shall share tomorrow after I learn the rest of it.

With all that my lifestyle/philosophy/theology has cost me, I do not regret helping anyone, even those whose  need was a scam. Four years ago I explained one element that drives my altruism with the story of The Bishop's Candlesticks. Another driver for me is Jesus' parable of the Good Samaritan.

The third element (driver) is what I learned in seminary about God's economy (economic system).

Quite simple, God's economy is the theology that in the world God has created enough for everyone to live comfortably. The reason that isn't true is that a few have a much larger portion of the world's resources which creates a scarcity of resources for the majority of others. Therefore, following God's economy informs me to share all that I have. If that sharing causing hardship for me, someone else who follows God's economy with share their wealth with me and so on throughout the world. It rather how many theologians explain the "miracle" of Jesus feeding the five thousand.

So, I continue with my altruistic lifestyle/philosophy/theology lifestyle, even though there are more times these days of my resources being inadequate even for the basic needs of the kitty kids and me. I have faith that at some point someone with share their abundance with us.

Day Twenty-five

Today I am attempting telephone contacts with government bureaucrats and lackeys of the 1%. I'm have a difficult time not becoming depressed.

Thus far today I've been unable to reach the bureaucrats with whom I've needed to speak at VA. I have spoken with someone at Montgomery Ward and my account has supposed been corrected to show PAID IN FULL. 

I don't know how long I can sit here doing this!

A CODE ORANGE AIR QUALITY ALERT FOR OZONE HAS BEEN ISSUED BY THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE FOR THE LOUISVILLE METRO AREA. MEMBERS OF SENSITIVE GROUPS MAY EXPERIENCE HEALTH EFFECTS.

Unfortunately, I am a member of two of those Sensitive Groups!

I'm giving up on the phone calls I've been making most of today. Since I'm not getting through to anyone at VA with whom I need to talk and Ma Bell only gets me robots and then people who can't assist me and who transfer me to another damned robot, I'm going to save my sanity, relax, and try again tomorrow.

This seems to come from the same "scientific reasoning" as the one Atkin used concerning rape:

Todd Akin would have made an excellent member of the Inquisition. 

I just prublished this graphic in my primary blog, Nick's Bytes:

With his engineering and managerial experience, Republican U.S. Representative William Todd Akin would have made an excellent witch hunter

This evening I am feeling an anxiety that is pushing me down into depression. It isn't what I can do or can't do that drives me into depression, it's the threats and power of idiot bureaucrats, politicians, religious freaks, and the lackeys of the 1% do that frighten me.

The Last 9 Days

I have had difficulty keeping an Internet connection this month. I am losing my battle with Ma Bell, primarily because I have problems communicating with them. This all began when I was convinced to "bundle." A very, very big mistake: Ma has one salesperson bundle a consumer but it take 3 salespeople to unbundle one. Damn! I feel like I'm losing my sanity!

I think I'll cancel the VA-paid caregivers. I have had problem after problem with the agency with whom the VA contracts to provide the service. The original treatment pan isn't being followed because much of it is outside what they are able to do. The VA staff now in charge of this program is made up of clerks, not trained to administer such a program; when I call them for assistance, I have been ignored and put down Yes, I do need home health care, but this isn't what VA is providing. Damn! I feel like I'm losing my sanity.

At times the thought comes to me that the Capitalist lackeys who cause me and so many others great sorrow and pain do not intend to do what they do; it’s that they, like the Roman solders who crucified Jesus, do not realize what they are doing. I’m not sure that the same can be said of the 1% who rules this plutocracy we call the United States. Am I losing my sanity?

The only really good thing in my life is the addition of a kitten, whom I have named Little Girl, to my household.

Alex has written about the 3 felines sharing my life in his latest Alexicon blog post.