I am in a quandary

Yes, I am in a quandary. 

The Veterans Administration program that supplied me with in-home caregivers over the past seven or so years is no longer available to me. Changes in the program now limit it to those veterans with 100% combat related disabilities.

I think that is fantastic—that my younger comrades in arms who were disabled in warfare are receiving this vital service. However, when I was informed of the changes in the program this afternoon, the social worker with whom I spoke also mentioned that now all slots in the program are filled and there is already a waiting list of more than 40 disabled veterans. That is not fantastic, but I fear it is normal for the VA and the majority of government agencies.

So it appears I shall be on my own until my physical or mental condition deteriorates to the point I must be either in a nursing home or a cemetery.

My AARP Medicare supplement does not cover the difference between what Medicare will pay for caregivers and the cost of the service. Of course, I can’t afford to pay the difference either.

So that is my quandary. As usual, I am now exhausted—even though I have slept 18 of the past 24 hours. By tomorrow morning I hope to be awake and energized enough to get into a problem-solving mode to deal with this new dilemma.

Exhaustion, Warmth, and Blue Whales

Blue Whale and Calf

from Marine Science Today

I awakened, as usual, at a bit after 3:00 a.m. and was able to return to sleep in my reclining chair a bit before 4:00. I awakened to a TV program about a blue whale and her calf. It was an astonishing program. What intrigued me the most was the close relationship between the mother and her child. A comment was made that this type of relationship is the norm for mammals. I began reflecting on all of the abusing and neglecting human mothers I encountered supervising child protective services. I wonder what went wrong with the parenting instinct of those mothers.

It is an unseasonable 67 F here in Louisville today. I wish I had the energy to go outside and enjoy it. But I don't am still feeling exhausted. The good news is that I don't feel nauseous today and the pains in my body a less than they have been the past week or so.

I am now intrigued by blue whales so much that I went shopping and added some stuff to my want list (as if I'll ever afford any of it):

I finally got the energy to go out into today's warmth. I had a grand time! Even a nice conversation with some folks at the mailboxes. 

Of course, the exertions wore me out. Beck inside I spent an hour or so recouping my energy. While recovering my breath, I heard a huge crash. When I had the strength, I investigated what the kitty kids had knocked over this  time. Nothing broke. Just some boxes of stuff I plan to throw away.

Since the VA has replaced my reach extender, I spent time this evening picking up stuff that I couldn't without the extender. Of course, it was 10 minutes picking up followed by 10 minutes recouping my breath.

Now at 11:30 PM, I am ready to retire for the night.

Movin' Foward Another Day

Excellent meals-on-wheels lunch: turkey, gravy, boiled potatoes, green beans, dinner roll, pumpkin pie, milk to which I added cranberry sauce. Yummy!

I'm still ill -- still feel exhausted and after about 5 steps I begin having serious difficulty breathing. Yucky!

It's just after noon: all 3 kitty kids are napping. I shall now join them.

I still am having difficulty breathing and walking plus my nausea is worse. I don't have a fever, so I still don't believe this is the flu. I have an old friend who once worked as my housekeeper coming to help me straighten up this apartment. My mom is paying the charge.

Tests

I feel as if I am being tested:

• I have been quite ill—nausea, body aches, headaches, muscle weakness, exhaustion, sore throat—for the post three weeks.
• I have not had a VA-supplied—or anybody else supplied—care giver in 3 months; I thought that I could do it all by myself, but being ill haa gotten me far behind.
• My hearing aid has fallen from my left ear and I haven’t been able to find it.
• For each of the past two months, unexpected (once a year type) automatic withdrawals have been taken from my back account leaving me overdrawn and without funds for the last three or so weeks of each month.
• Today my 14-year-old washing machine began leaking.
• My 11-year-old TV is losing its picture.

Those are the issues. I am handling them the best that I can, which hasn't been too great thus far.

Kitty Kids Update:

Alex is now nesting on the comforter that I keep on the floor beside my lift chair, leaving me kinda cold.

Little Girl has recently been following me everywhere, including napping on my chest and/or face when I sleep.

Sugar is well-named: all she wants to eat these days is kitty treats and Catmilk

I have decided that I shall be victorious over these challenges!

Yuck

Yuck—or maybe yuckie—that’s what I've been feeling the past three or four days. The primary symptoms have been: nausea, arthritis pain, fatigue, and shortness of breath. My temporary doc from MD2U you came by last week. He said that he would call to the pharmacy a prescription to help with the nausea, which she believes is related to oxygen deprivation. Thus far, no prescription has been telephone to the pharmacy. I telephoned his office, the clerk contacted him, and he does not remember saying he was going to call in the prescription. I so wish that Angie, my regular nurse practitioner, was back from taking maternity leave.

Over the weekend that hearing aid in my left ear fell to the floor in the kitchen. I have swept the floor, looked under what I can look under, and otherwise search for it every day since with luck. I am awaiting someone young and limber enough who can look under the kitchen appliances before I contact VA and request a replacement.

I had also lost my extender picker upper; however I finally found that hanging from an emergency oxygen tank.

I ain't doing very well, folks. Not well at all.

This afternoon I tried to do some work around here; I accomplished very little. Just walking from one side of the room to the other exhausts me and my left leg feels as if it is going to collapse out from under me. Whatever this is, I pray that I am over very soon.

From Fun to Frustration

This morning began as a grand today. Mr. Sun has been shining brightly, although it's been relatively cold – below freezing. When I carried the garbage bags to my car this morning, I found it so pleasant that I hung around outside for about 10 minutes.

Alex, little girl, and sugar have been well behaved most of the day. I am surprised about their eating habits: not one of the cats is eating from his daughter her accustomed dish. Sugar was eating from Alex's dish, little girl was eating from sugars dish, and Alex was at sugars bowl. All of the Kitty Kids ate their favorite foods for breakfast, including 3 servings of treats. They were happy. I was happy: I was  not being harassed. 


After breakfast I played on the Internet and intermittently with the Kitty kids. Alex periodically jumped up on my desk, requesting treats. That brought sugar and little girl to the top of the printer, requesting treats.

Finally I decided to get the work and began following the time management procedure that works so well for me as an Army officer, social worker, County supervisor, historic preservation commission chair, and in all of the various roles I performed as an ordained clergy: take the TO DO stuff and complete one important item before moving on to the next.

 That procedure is much better for me than the other one I used, which was to have three preys on my desk marked TODAY, TOMORROW and NEXT WEEK (MAYBE).

The problem with the latter procedure is that most of what I did was to move what was in the TODAY into one of the other two.

Unfortunately, item #1 (a short form for Medicare) took me 4 &$%##& hours to do it. (That is a story all into itself!).

I'll try to write more later. Now I need a bit of a nap.

Earlier today Alex leaped onto my desk as I was changing the batteries in my hearing aids. I snapped this photo:

I took the photo as a bit of humor and commented in Facebook that I was concerned that Alex would eat my hearing aid. I had no real concern: Alex knows the difference between plastic and a kitty cat treat. Besides, if I had really been concerned I would have picked up the hearing aid rather than the camera.

I may, however, have tempted the Fates with my humor. This evening, while I was in the kitchen cooking dinner, the hearing aid in my left ear fell out. I heard it hit the floor, but, even though I have sweep the floor and under everything that I can, I've yet to find it. Of course, the looking and bending over aren't good for me. After about ten minutes I was winded and my back hurt. 

I am continuing to search for my hearing aid as I can, knowing that it hasn't left my apartment.

Up All Night, But It Was Worth It

Yesterday I was harassed by all three Kitty Kids for cat treats. We had run out of their favorite wet food as well as their treats. My pension, which is due to be in my bank account on the first day of the month, was not in my bank account because yesterday was a holiday. Thus I had to wait until today to purchase cat and people food.

Alex held on to me waiting for treats

Alex could not understand this delay or our financial insolvency and kept reminding he that he wanted treats by scratching me with his claws, drawing blood three times. He would have continued his attacks except for Divine intervention: while throwing away what I believed to be empty plastic bags, I found one can of their favorite wet cat food.

Alex's favorite wet cat food

Later Little girl and I both fell asleep – she was on top of me, sleeping on my chest – watching the Rose Bowl game on TV. I awakened about 11 PM and moved from my living room chair to my bed in the bedroom. I fell asleep relatively quickly only to be awakened by a cat - Little Girl, of course - pouncing on my chest and then walking around in circles, kneading me with her claws. Since it was then about 2 AM, I decided to get up and check my online banking account, hoping that my pension check had been credited. It had not.

Of course, once I was up all three of the Kitty Kids got up and it wasn't long before they were again harassing me for cat treats, which I didn't have. I continued to check my bank account; by a little after 4:00 AM – alleluia – the pension fund check was  credited to my account. I was out the door and on my way to the grocery by 4:20.

When I returned I discovered all three cats sitting on the window side of the Venetian blinds waiting for me. Sugar and Little Girl were at the door when I opened it, Alex had already jumped up on his eating table.

I put the carton of wet cat food on Alex's dining table, but before I could open it, Alex was trying to get into it. I opened a can of food and before I could put Alex's share in his bowl, my buddy was licking the can's top. When I pointed out to my silly cat that there was more food in his bowl than on the inside of the can top, he began chowing down. I then filled Sugar and Little Girl's bowls and went into the kitchen to put away the people food. Before I completed that chore, all three crazy cats were harassing me for treats, which of course I gave to them,

The Kitty Kids' favorite treats

Sugar & Little Girl chomping on treats

As I have been writing this post, I have also be giving Alex and Sugar treats. 

Have I ever mentioned that I have spoiled my Kitty Kids?

Just in care you're interested, these are Alex's absolute favorites:

In my half-awake state in the wee hours of this morning, I attempted some apartment cleaning. In the process, I have misplaced my reach extender which is serious because the kitty kids have spent much of this morning pushing stuff onto the floor.

A little after 2:00 p.m. I had my daily telephone conversation with my mother. She doesn't sound good. I wish we still lived 15 minutes apart. Now my sister lives 10 or so minutes from her, so I telephoned her: no answer  so I left a message suggesting that she check on Mom.