Day Forty-two: Altruistic Me

Yep,that altruistic frog is me:I'll help someone even if what it takes to do so will drown me. In the last ten of so years I have given to others tens of thousands of dollars to the point that in the past year I have not had enough money to purchase food for any month, always running out by the second week.

Of course, money isn't the only thing my altruistic lifestyle/philosophy/theology has cost me. Without going into "ancient history" (the past 10 years), last night is an excellent example. 

My neighbor entered my apartment last night just as I was relaxing to watch Chelsea Lately -- i.e., 11:00 p.m. She whined, begging me to again drive her to the VA ER (Veterans Administration Emergency Room) as she has convinced me to do in the wee hours of the morning more than once in the past.  I explained (over and over) that I was ill: weak and painful leg; difficulty walking; labored breathing. 

She heard none of it, so finally my altruistic self kicked in and I drove her to the  VA ER, where is waited (outside on a bench because I didn't want to go inside with her) until after 3:00 a.m. when I informed her I had to go home because the battery of my portable oxygen compressor was running low. Even then she wanted me to stay, suggesting I come into the hospital and have them supply me with bottled oxygen. I didn't and reached my apartment at about 3:45 a.m.

Today I have paid a heavy price for last night and this morning's altruism. I have been exhausted; I have been sick at my stomach; and I have been basically functioning at half-speed, half-mind. There is a side story to this regarding the outcome of my neighbor's VA ER visit that I shall share tomorrow after I learn the rest of it.

With all that my lifestyle/philosophy/theology has cost me, I do not regret helping anyone, even those whose  need was a scam. Four years ago I explained one element that drives my altruism with the story of The Bishop's Candlesticks. Another driver for me is Jesus' parable of the Good Samaritan.

The third element (driver) is what I learned in seminary about God's economy (economic system).

Quite simple, God's economy is the theology that in the world God has created enough for everyone to live comfortably. The reason that isn't true is that a few have a much larger portion of the world's resources which creates a scarcity of resources for the majority of others. Therefore, following God's economy informs me to share all that I have. If that sharing causing hardship for me, someone else who follows God's economy with share their wealth with me and so on throughout the world. It rather how many theologians explain the "miracle" of Jesus feeding the five thousand.

So, I continue with my altruistic lifestyle/philosophy/theology lifestyle, even though there are more times these days of my resources being inadequate even for the basic needs of the kitty kids and me. I have faith that at some point someone with share their abundance with us.

Day Twenty

One of my favorite Native American parables

My life is now 100% weird. When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. ~ Hunter S. Thompson

An Ancient Christian Legend: When the Son of God was nailed to the cross and died, he went straight down to hell and set free all the sinners there in torment. The Devil wept and wailed for he thought he would get no more sinners for hell. Then God said to him, “Do not weep, for I shall send you all those who are self-righteous in their condemnation of sinners. And hell will fill up again until I return.”

In a nation run by swine, all pigs are upward-mobile and the rest of us are fucked until we can put our acts together: Not necessarily to Win, but mainly to keep from Losing Completely. ~ Hunter S. Thompson.

I'm rereading Jack Kerouac's The Dharma Bums. I'm wondering what my life would have been like had I read it when I was twenty instead of after I was married with a child.

I hope it is true that a man can die and yet not only live in others but give them life, and not only life, but that great consciousness of life.~ Jack Kerouac

Day Seven

Yesterday's adventure wore me out. The drive in extreme heat without air conditioning overheated not only me but my portable oxygen compressor. I had no oxygen the last 20 or so miles of the trip. So, I have been recovering today with sleep and occasionally awakening to watch the Olympics. 

Sugar had escaped yesterday morning  when Timmi, my new caregiver, left the front door open. Alex and I went out on the patio in the wee hours of this morning. I called her and Alex left the patio and returned with Sugar following him. However,  she wouldn't enter the apartment. Finally, I cornered her in a corner of the patio and snatched her up by the nap of her neck. She must have had quite an adventure today because Sugar has been sleeping all day, too. 

There is a thunderstorm new (4:30 PM). We need the rain and I'm hoping it cools things off enough so I can make a run to the grocery.

This evening, while awaiting something of interest (not talking heads) in the TV coverage of the Olympic Games, I have been rereading The Gospel of Thomas. I find in these 114 saying of Jesus insight into the spiritual dimension of Christianity that I believe in lacking in the canonical New Testament.  For example,

#29

            If the flesh exists because of the spirit, it is a miracle; but if the spirit exists because of the body, it is a miracle or miracles. I marvel at how such great wealth  established itself amid this poverty,

#62

            I tell my mysteries to those who are worthy of my mysteries. Do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing.

#63

            There was a rich man who had considerable wealth. He said, “I will use my money to sew and reap and plant and fill my warehouses with fruit so that I will lack nothing.” Such we his intentions, but that night he died. Whoever has ears, let him hear.

#67

            He who knows all but fails to know himself lacks everything.

#95

            If you have money, do not lend it at interest but give it to those from whom you will not receive it back.

#113

            His disciples said to him, “When will the kingdom come?”

            He said, “It will not come when  it is expected. They will say, ‘look here,’ or ’Look there.’ Rather the kingdom of the father is spread out on the earth and people do not see it.”

 

 The Kindle Edition: