2014-05-29 Thursday

Alex and I were up this morning before 4 AM. Actually, I got up and, since Alex was sleeping on my legs, ` he was forced to get up also. My first recording about vital signs takes place before breakfast. Usually, before that, Alex and I have a cuddle session. This morning I decided to record part of that session. The results are this video:

Do not turn your servant away in anger,

    you who have been my help.

Do not cast me off, do not forsake me,

    O God of my salvation!

If my father and mother forsake me,

    the Lord will take me up.

Teach me your way, O Lord,

    and lead me on a level path

    because of my enemies.

Do not give me up to the will of my adversaries,

    for false witnesses have risen against me,

    and they are breathing out violence.

I believe that I shall see the goodness of the Lord

    in the land of the living.

Wait for the Lord;

    be strong, and let your heart take courage;

    wait for the Lord!

~ Psalms 27

Since Monday night, I have not slept well—at least not at night. During the day I have, as usual, I have napped quite a bit. I’ve been feeling a great sadness throughout the past five days. I’ve analyzed its cause; I think I know what started; but that doesn’t help me deal with the sadness. So I have advised myself using the prescription I would give a parishioner or a client in my counseling practice:

Do not analyze. It makes no difference what the cause is. Simply feel the sadness. It is temporary. It will soon depart.

As of tonight my sadness is still with me, to the point that it is close to a full depression. And so I pray:

Dear Lord, you are our refuge in good and in bad times. In your infinite mercy, bring peace and comfort to those of us who face days sometimes filled with pain and depression. Help us to realize that through you there is joy and the promise of lasting peace. Help us through the rough times. Walk before and beside us so that we may walk in your footsteps and reach out to you in our journey on this earth. Help us to focus on our blessings rather than our misfortunes, dear Lord. Thank you for hearing and answering our prayers. Amen

And I meditate. And I chant.

And I continue to do what I need to do. And to be gentle with myself. And to accept the curative love of my Kitty Kids.

        

July 21, 2013

Today my morning meditation and prayer session was especially centering. I felt a serenity that I’ve not felt in a very long time. My jaw, which was screaming with pain when I woke, reduced itself to a murmur. I am thankful for this beginning of my day, which was better and more positive than I have experienced in recent days.

Alex and Sugar allowed me to complete my meditation and prayer section before they began begging for treats. Alex generally does not speak his request for treats, he either jumps on my desk are scratches my leg. Sugar often does vocalize the requests; however, she does not meow she chirps!

After breakfast I went looking for Little Girl, but LG was nowhere to be found. In other words, she and her kittens were not in the closet. I explored the bedroom and finally located the new nest in the narrow space between the bed and the wall. Perhaps LG feels her kittens no longer need to be isolated.

I found that our supply of Kitty treats and my supply of milk needed replenishing. I decided to go out while the temperature was still in the low 80s. My initial plan had been to drive to Walmart because the Kitty treats are much cheaper there and I have a Walmart gift card. However, I discovered that I have so little gasoline that I was forced to go to the nearby Kroger.

When I returned from shopping I saw Sugar and LG sitting in the windows, waiting for me? By the time I got to the door, all three kitty kids were there to greet me. Even before I could exchange the portable oxygen concentrator for the big one, LG was rubbing up against my leg; Sugar was circling me, chirping; and Alex was already sitting on my desk. Of course, each received a large helping of treats.

After lunch, as I walked past the bedroom, I notice the three kittens running, leaping, bounding, and basically playing on the bedroom floor. I went and picked up my camera, deciding to stay with the kittens and maybe shoot a few photographs. There play was so cute that I change plans and besides the photographs I also shot a short video. After editing and processing the video, I uploaded it to YouTube:

It now being well after midnight and not having completed tomorrow’s Nicks Bytes humor blog post, I shall now in this journal entry.

Peace, love, and justice to all.

July 11, 2013

I was back at the VA hospital in this morning, this time to keep an appointment I made more than a month ago. This time it was to pick up my replacement hearing aids. Before Christmas I had lost one of the hearing aids that I received about three years ago. Hoping that I would find it, I waited until June before requesting a replacement from the Veterans Administration. I was told that it was past time for me to be evaluated for new hearing aids. Great! So I had the appointment, and my ears filled with some goopy stuff that made an impression of my inner ear, and set up today’s appointment to return and pick up my new hearing aids.

As with so much of my life, things have not gone. I arrived at the VA hospital about 7:30 my 8:00 AM appointment. My left leg was weak and hurting intensely, both when walking and sitting. It took me about 20 minutes to make it the office; however, I had a 50 minute wait because the audiologist was having problems with their computer. It seems that the computer was necessary because these new hearing aids are adjusted the via a microchip in them. WOW!

Another thing about the new hearing aids is that they are clear so that one can visually determine if there is any earwax buildup in them.

It's grand to be able to hear again -- except for guy with the gasoline-powered leaf blower outside the hospital, the kid in the car next to me at a red light with hip hop blaring from his car radio, and the warning buzzer of my portable oxygen concentrator telling me the battery needed charging. 

The whole trip took longer than I expected, so that I ran out of lithium battery power in my portable oxygen condenser about 15 minutes before I got home. I was wheezing, panting, and nauseous by the time myself up to the large oxygen machine. I was met by all 3 kitty kids, who I suspect were still traumatized by the 13+ hours away from home when I was in the VA emergency room yesterday. 

When I noticed that all three kitty kids—Alex, Sugar, and Little Girl—were on my desk begging for treats, I wondered about the kittens being alone. So, I grabbed the camera and limped to the walk-in closet to check on them. Of course, Momma Little Girl and Aunty Sugar followed me. And, I took what I think are the best photos of the three kittens to date. Here is one of them:

I published the above kitten photograph plus six more earlier today in  a Nick's Bytes post entitled, Lots of Kitten Pics.

Later, after much needed nap, I decided to shoot a video showing off my new hearing aids. I had just taken the right hearing aid into my hand when LG jumped on the desk and this video was made:

The video demonstrating the new hearing aids was never produced. I did take the photograph that begins this post. Then I decided to take the hearing aids out of my ears and put them away. It was then that I discovered that the hearing aid for my right ear was not in my right ear! I have searched desk, floor around the desk, the kitchen, bathroom, and the cats feeding area. I found no hearing aid.

I shall continue searching for the missing hearing aid and hopefully will find it. Meanwhile, I am blessed because the one remaining old hearing aid is far my right ear.

I have yet three more Veterans Administration medical appointments coming up. While I was on my trip to the hospital this morning, the Newburg VA clinic telephone and request that I set up appointments with my primary care physician and my psychiatrist. It was good timing. The appointment with the primary care physician, including a visit preceding it for lab work, is set for mid-August; the appointment with my psychiatrist is set for 9 AM tomorrow. I sure hope I have no more appointments because the round-trip to Newburg tomorrow will just about empty my gas tank! 

Donate a penny 

to help support SSN, 

his 3 Kitty Kids, 

& LG's kittens?

Countdown to My Birthday

As I write this, is less than two weeks until my Valentine's Day birthday. I'm not exactly happy about my upcoming birthday – is anyone happy about turning 67 years old? But I am counting down to the day.

As you may remember from my previous journal entries, I have been ill since early December. I'm still not feeling well; however, the symptoms have changed. At the present time I am having difficulty speaking, especially on the telephone: it seems that the words in my head are not always coming out my mouth. Therefore, I am avoiding telephone conversations as much as I can.

The second problem I'm having with myself is that I seem to lose my equilibrium quite often. I have not fallen yet, but I've come awfully close to it.


Since the year 2003 I have been aware of my declining health. In the beginning I worried a lot about this; however, then I read a story of an interview with Joseph Campbell that took place a few years before his death. Campbell was asked how his many years studying world myths and informed his own life. 

He replied that he has learned that nothing is permanent – everything is in the process of change. As he has grown older and his body has no longer functioned the way it did when he was a young man, he simply noted the changes in his body – the shutting down of each function – and responded by thanking that function and saying goodbye to it.

This is exactly what I have been doing for the past several years.


As I count down the days until my birthday, I have been reviewing the functions that I no longer have. I said goodbye to easy breathing, the ability to stand without a walking stick, the ability to run, and living each day without pain. I celebrate that I can still think, write, speak (most of the time), sing (a little bit), and walk with the aid of my walking stick. I can also drive.

I can also appreciate the Frank Sinatra song, It Was a Very Good Year.

It Was a Very Good Year

What my kitty kids have been doing:

Sugar and Little Girl having been watching the snow

Alex and Little Girl watching the snow

Sugar on the move; Little Girl on printer.

Alex on my desk, begging treats,

Napping:

December 11, 2012

Sugar Video:

Alex loves it when I stroke his chinny-chin-chin:

At the moment my buddy is using my hand for a pillow, which makes typing quite difficult.

December 8, 2012

I have a cold. I was out in yesterday's rain much too long. My only excuse is that I had much to do and accomplished almost all of it.

I don't like having a cold; however, it is much worse because, with a stopped-up nose, I can't get the supplemental oxygen I need from my oxygen compressor. It takes much of my already limited supply of energy just to breath. And, I have a lot on my agenda today.

The kitty kids are much very active since I returned home yesterday evening: running, playing climbing on me, pushing everything they can upon the floor. I think they missed me during the hours that I was absent.

A video Alex and I made this evening:

Day Twenty-six

Today has been productive! Thus far, I have

Rearranged my living-room furniture, which give the cats and mu church more room to move around and much less chance of me tripping and falling. I was able to accomplish it because I finally got rid of the humongous couch that too up so much space.

Little Girl investigating a folded card-table sitting temporarily where the couch had been.

Sugar beneath a side table that had belonged to my now-closed church that is newly placed in the living-room. The LP & DVD on the floor had been on top of the table moments before.

Alex enjoying the sunshine, meditating on growing Pet Greens, and avoiding the antics of the 2 female cats.

I was able to replace the broken vase that held my walking sticks with a rack that I purchased almost a year ago but had no place to put because of the couch.

 The finally-used walking-stick rack

All of the above took place this afternoon. This morning I was on the telephone with the VA billing people attempting to keep them from confiscating $100 plus from my next Social Security check. This stuff isn't easy for me, as you'll note from the video below that records only my part of the conversation. The video begin after I spent 12 minutes on the phone trying to be connected with a human being rather than the computer robot with whom VA wanted to interact.

I hope that this video will be a demonstration of what we elderly, disabled folks must endure is order to survive in today's America.

Some final photos:

Alex discovered some catnip in a sealed jar and demanded that I give him a pinch of it.

Alex ten minutes after he ingested the nip.