2014-05-29 Thursday

Alex and I were up this morning before 4 AM. Actually, I got up and, since Alex was sleeping on my legs, ` he was forced to get up also. My first recording about vital signs takes place before breakfast. Usually, before that, Alex and I have a cuddle session. This morning I decided to record part of that session. The results are this video:

Do not turn your servant away in anger,

    you who have been my help.

Do not cast me off, do not forsake me,

    O God of my salvation!

If my father and mother forsake me,

    the Lord will take me up.

Teach me your way, O Lord,

    and lead me on a level path

    because of my enemies.

Do not give me up to the will of my adversaries,

    for false witnesses have risen against me,

    and they are breathing out violence.

I believe that I shall see the goodness of the Lord

    in the land of the living.

Wait for the Lord;

    be strong, and let your heart take courage;

    wait for the Lord!

~ Psalms 27

Since Monday night, I have not slept well—at least not at night. During the day I have, as usual, I have napped quite a bit. I’ve been feeling a great sadness throughout the past five days. I’ve analyzed its cause; I think I know what started; but that doesn’t help me deal with the sadness. So I have advised myself using the prescription I would give a parishioner or a client in my counseling practice:

Do not analyze. It makes no difference what the cause is. Simply feel the sadness. It is temporary. It will soon depart.

As of tonight my sadness is still with me, to the point that it is close to a full depression. And so I pray:

Dear Lord, you are our refuge in good and in bad times. In your infinite mercy, bring peace and comfort to those of us who face days sometimes filled with pain and depression. Help us to realize that through you there is joy and the promise of lasting peace. Help us through the rough times. Walk before and beside us so that we may walk in your footsteps and reach out to you in our journey on this earth. Help us to focus on our blessings rather than our misfortunes, dear Lord. Thank you for hearing and answering our prayers. Amen

And I meditate. And I chant.

And I continue to do what I need to do. And to be gentle with myself. And to accept the curative love of my Kitty Kids.